What do you think I think about good damage?

If there is no rainbow after the rain–then it’s just fine

You don’t need to paint one

When you feel something heavy,  

When you experience despair that feels so shitty

It is not bound by a purpose  

It happened not because you needed that  

𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙨𝙚

So, you don’t exactly need to intertwine your fingers  

Clasp your palms,  

And whisper your prayers to the gate of heaven  

Just to spite your plea for a good ending  

𝙏𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙢𝙖 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙖 𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙮,

It’s not a story to tell—to sell to the desperate crowd  

It is not about you.  

Trauma will never define you. It will never dictate your character

But rather,  

𝙏𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙢𝙖 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙥𝙞𝙚𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙚  

That if you might want to pick it up again  

It will just cause you multiple stabs to your aorta

And that’s when the clock’s hands strike at 3 am  

On the rugged side of your bed—while sweat floods 

All those nightmares banging on the windows of your mind  

Those will not mold you to become a better version of yourself  

It’s neither a counselor nor a mediator—it’s the worst mutant of your monster

Trauma is not there for an honorable mention,  

It exists to cause ruin  

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙫𝙖𝙞𝙣

What do you think I think of trauma?  

𝙄𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨.

Trauma is not subjected to a sugar coat  

It will always mean to destroy—not to make you feel anything better

Which serves as a reminder,  

That it will never tame our desire for value

But, with all the hellholes you set your soul in  

The timelines you wandered  

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪—𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙘𝙖𝙢𝙚  

With how you transformed a sting into pollen  

With how you carried all the excess baggage  

And with how you carefully waited for your scars and bruises to heal

𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚  

Not the battle itself

If your traumas made you feel weak—𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙡  

You don’t need to require yourself to instantly stand strong after a fall  

Because 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨  𝙣𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙨

So the next time you come across anguish,  

It’s alright if it leaves you as a blank canvas  

It’s fine if there is no rainbow after the rain  

With both of these situations,  

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚  

Writer: Juliene Chloe Pereña

Illustration: Alyzza Marie Sales