The concept of divorce has long been viewed through the lens of negativity, as it was portrayed as something that would erode Filipino values. But does it really?
House Bill No. 9349, also known as the “Absolute Divorce Act,” is a law that will act as a legal recourse to prevent people from being trapped in an irreparably broken marriage. On May 22, the divorce bill was approved by the House of Representatives in its third and final reading with affirmative votes of 131, an opposing vote of 109, and 20 abstentions.
However, this sparks debate and discussion among Filipinos, providing different perspectives and opinions on the said matter. According to a survey by the Social Weather Stations (SWS), 50 percent of Filipinos approve, 31 percent disagree, and 17 percent are undecided about the context of divorce, which nearly caused a split of teams and is currently a hot topic.
The country has long sought to answer a critical question: Which is better—staying in a toxic marriage or divorce? Continuously followed and trapped by an intact value that they held for centuries. However, why is the ability to dissolve marriage necessary and should it be a fundamental right in the Philippines?
The main reason is to minimize and escape violent and abusive relationships inside their homes. No one should be forced to stay in a toxic marriage that will only bring physical, mental, psychological, and emotional distress. They need to have a chance for happiness. The declaration of the law will allow everyone to be free from situations they have long endured and grow, heal, and start a life toward peace.
In a 2017 National Demographic and Health Survey by the Philippine Statistics Authority, it was revealed that one in four married women experiences physical, sexual, and emotional spouse violence. The country may not be ready and prepared at this moment, however, the number of abuses proves it should be implemented. Women should never experience being punching bags and suffering from a dangerous and loveless marriage.
Next, it aligns with promoting the well-being of the children who were trapped in the middle to get away from a dysfunctional home for their mental and emotional health. While it is true that divorce can have an impact on them and take time to bounce back, staying in a detrimental environment and continuously witnessing conflict between two parents will bring much more anxiety, stress, and personal trauma. Moreover, it will allow the children to view their parents outside the marital relationship, providing a much healthier and more stable parent-child relationship in the long run.
On the other hand, despite the advantages of divorce, a huge number still put the idea in the pot. But why are half of the Filipinos heavily opposed to divorce?
The most common narratives we see as reasons are religious beliefs and some values claimed to be contemptuous and undermined. The Philippines is a Christian-dominated community that views marriage as sacred and continues to protect its sanctity. However, if we look deeply into it, this will also be wrongly perceived by using it as a convenient excuse to neglect the welfare of women. These beliefs will just benefit abusers and keep the victims chained.
As a Catholic, I do believe that marriage is heavenly and sacred. However, does it still extend to and be justifiable for those who experience hell during the marital union? It is a fact that failed marriages exist, as not everyone has a similar experience and luck in a married life. If a couple is estranged from reconciliation, they should not be constrained to move forward and wish for peaceful change.
Furthermore, the other reason why some are opposed to it is that the context of the divorce bill was not discussed and clarified to the public. This stirred the majority into thinking that it was forced and mandatory, which it was not. Social media discussions show that people lack adequate knowledge regarding the law, as they believe that the implementation of the law would force them to eliminate their happy and healthy relationships.
“Kahit maipasa na ang divorce sa Pilipinas, hinding hindi ko idi-divorce ang aking asawa, maybahay, minamahal na si–” posted Grant Javier.
Another Facebook comment read, “Kaya nagagalit ang Panginoon sa gusto niyong mangyari gusto niyo iba-iba ang asawa.”
Additionally, it is more saddening that even some government officials view it superficially. Their opinion on the law is heavily influenced by their personal experience and beliefs, neglecting the voice of the people and the factual realities. They are forgetting that the actual purpose of the law is for those who need it.
“Ako po alam naman ng lahat I have a very happy family life, so I'm not in favor of divorce,” Senator Cynthia Villar remarked.
How can we truly help those people who actually need to be freed from their current marital relationship if we continuously portray the concept of divorce with full stigma and judgment? Just because it does not affect you does not mean that it is not relevant. You can still support the concept of divorce even if you have a happy relationship.
It is time to move beyond outdated notions of the idea of divorce, as this law acknowledges the realities of marriage. The approval of the law is a step to support those who have long been condemned to intolerable conditions in a relationship.
Conversely, it might be a good change; however, I hope that the government itself will also provide something that will help discuss the complexity of this bill with the public in order for them to be knowledgeable enough about its importance. Moreover, it will also create a culture of compassion, openness, and humility for those who will be getting help from the law.
Article: Kent Merrie Jade Mejares
Cartoon: Timothy Andrei M. Milambiling
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