#WomenInMaleFields: Why is it a problem when women do it?

“Oh, so men can do it, but when women do, it’s suddenly the end of the world?” 

#WomenInMaleFields—What started as a simple trend on TikTok intended for laughs quickly became an exposé of society’s most persistent double standards.

Why is it just another normal day for a man, while a woman in the same role is met with resentful stares, skepticism, or outright hostility? Is it always so questionable that women can, or is it just the exhausting tightrope of society’s ridiculous standards towards femininity? From being told to “toughen up” to continuously being expected to “stay soft,” women in male-dominated fields are caught in a no-win situation. It’s time we talk about it.

Welcome to the Double Standard Olympics

Boys dating young? Normal. Expected. Families even encourage them to introduce their girlfriends. Girls dating young? Scandalous. “Wait until you're 18.” “Focus on your studies first.” And if they don’t, they’re labeled as flirty, indecent, or bound for teenage pregnancy. 

A boy's first love is a milestone; a girl's first love is a mistake.

Women doing household chores? As they should. Cleaning, laundry, childcare—it’s as if they were born with a mop in one hand and a baby in the other. Men doing household chores? Suddenly, they’re “such a great husband.” “His wife is so lucky.” “What a hero.” A man washes a plate, and the internet worships in praise. A woman does it every day, and no one bats an eye.

Women interested in basketball, construction, or cars? Instantly labeled as a “tomboy” or “too masculine.” Heaven forbid a woman knows the difference between a crossover and dribble, or can tell a hammer from a drill. Meanwhile, men in these spaces? They were born for it. No further questions.

Women taking on jobs society deems “for men”? Eyes full of shock and disbelief. “Are you sure you can handle it?” “Maybe ask a man for help.” Because, apparently, a uniform and a CEO title still sits more comfortably on a man’s shoulders. Men doing the same jobs? No second thought. They’re even applauded for it—“a real provider,” “a natural leader.” Women in the same role? They must have gotten lucky. Or worse, they must have slept their way to the top.

Women having sex? Slutty and unholy. “She should’ve waited for marriage—what a disgrace to the Lord and her future husband.” Men with multiple body counts, bragging about objectifying women? Not a single word. In fact, it’s a badge of honor. A girl loses her virginity, and she’s a damaged good. A boy does the same, and suddenly, he’s a man. 

Society’s unrealistic standards for women are everywhere—at home, at work, in relationships, and even in the smallest personal choices. If double standards were books, we’d have an entire library filled with all the ways women are judged for simply existing. And yet, we’re still expected to smile through it all.

Pinks, Lippies, and Bows: Never Meant for Men

Femininity. The quality, state, or degree of being feminine or womanly, as defined by Merriam-Webster. Society has long treated femininity as something that exists solely for the male gaze. If a woman wears pink, puts on lipstick, or adds a touch of a bow into her outfit, she must be doing it all for a man, to look good on their first date. If she says she doesn’t, which in a lot of cases really is, then she’s rejecting her natural beauty and is suggested to try dressing up more. The idea that a woman can embrace femininity for herself—that she can love makeup, fashion, or traditionally “girly” things simply because she enjoys them—is unthinkable to some.

In the world of womanland, we’re expected to do so much, but would be damned if we do anything at all. A question we often ask ourselves is, when will I ever be good enough? Beautiful but not too vain. Confident but not too intimidating. Tough but not too naive. Smart but not too powerful. The rules that society has imposed among women are ever-changing, and are designed for women to fail no matter how hard we try to live up to these crippling, grueling norms. 

Women can never too be feminine because all we are is an entertainment to feed a crowd’s boredom and a toy to satisfy a man’s desire—that’s the concept that this world has glued to our heads. How sad it is that even after years of fighting for, and celebrating women’s hardships and struggles, we’re still doomed to only be an accessory—to only be recognized behind the shadows of a man. 

Normal, Not Novel

What we need are not pitiful eyes nor phony sympathies. Everyday is a struggle for women, and our struggles, with the power of visibility in social media, has sparked conversations of challenging outdated norms. 

As part of the International Women’s Month advocacy and movement, what we can do is to keep the conversation going. The more we speak up about these double standards, the harder they become to justify. Women in male-dominated fields aren’t trying to “prove a point” or “break the internet.” They’re just simply being. 

What we need is more representation, and less labels. A woman in STEM, the trades, or the military shouldn’t be a girl boss moment—it’s about time we recognize the things that women can do, and treat them as a natural and normal skill. Maybe instead of asking women why they’re in these fields, we should ask why it’s still considered so shocking. Because just like Barbie, women can do absolutely anything and everything.

Article: Denise Gayeta

Graphics: Shannen Rowan