Of Spaces and Labels: Queer Filipino Youth Reclaims the Narrative

It is unsurprising that Filipinos don’t have a vast understanding of its local queer community. While ranked as one of the most gay-friendly countries in the world, the Philippines still struggle to fully grasp the concept of sexual orientation, or simply gender identity. Most of us grew up with only the surface knowledge of these words, and views it as something binary—always One or the Other.

However, that outdated belief along with many others of its kind, does not change the fact that queer people exist—and they deserve every right to do so. Even if often, that existence comes with being subjected to stereotypes and being named way too quickly. It is queer people that continue to live and love while fighting for a space in a country where heteronormativity holds sway.

Lost in Translation

The lack of queer spaces in the Philippines is evident, even more so with our local queer labels. We are most familiar with the terminologies bakla, bading, tomboy, and tibo. There is also silahis, which is lesser known to most people, outside and inside the LGBTQ+ community. 

It is an open secret that our own upbringing and culture influenced our ignorance today. Worse, this attitude leads us to attach stereotypes and negative connotations to these labels or use them as insults when they are supposed to uplift the community.

For labels bakla and bading, society often boxes them into the persona of a parlorista—a flamboyant, feminine gay man who stereotypically crossdresses and works in a beauty salon. The term is also associated with being cowardice or duwag, a “harmless joke” often being thrown around especially among kids and teenagers. Meanwhile, tomboy and tibo are often used to easily label women who are in a same-gendered relationship, without considering the fact that they might be bisexual or identify otherwise. These people are also so quick to tag these labels to women who do not dress or act in heteronormative ways.

For Kiel, who is not out yet, these damaging stereotypes find him in the closet anyway. He admits that due to the lack of queer labels and knowledge about it in the Philippines, people like him struggle as others tend to deem the way they act as “not manly enough.”

He shared that as a child, he was called out for the way he expresses himself, as if being too soft and modest is a problem. “I was a kid and I was just being me,” Kiel said.

The Right Words Matter

Words carry weight, they have the power to either lift others up or shush them down. In a country where the only labels that can be uttered in its own language are reduced to jokes and insults, it makes queerness feel like something to be ashamed of. This is why many think living in silence is the safer way. In their concealment, they hope to protect themselves from judgement and being treated less.

Rickie, a bisexual, knows this silence well. As a kid, it was not hard for him to recognize who he truly is. He likes girls and he likes boys, as simple as that. But he hid that truth from his mother and the world around him for seven years, because even if he found it easy to understand his identity, he feared others would not.

“They called me bading for liking a guy,” he said, “but that doesn’t feel right kasi nagkakagusto rin naman ako sa babae.” 

Like Rickie, many queers grew up being boxed in by words that were never made for them. They hold onto the day where people use words to uplift them rather than tear them down. Words that let them live openly without fear. 

Reclaiming Labels

Out and proud bisexual Keith believes that despite being used against the community from past generations, our local queer labels do not carry the same hateful weight anymore. He admits that he feels comfortable enough to use them, noting that it was only deemed harmful depending on the intention of the person using it.

“Scenarios like labeling the community by these terms have been an issue, [creating] unnecessary hate towards [an] individual,” Keith said. She further highlighted that this certain discrimination also happens within the community itself which “corrodes their own identity.”

The same sentiment was also echoed by Kate, a queer woman. Like Keith, she is proud to label herself with one of these colloquialisms today as she can freely express herself more through them.

“Kasi tulad nung sa paggamit ng umbrella term na 'queer' na derogatory slur before or used as an insult,” Kate narrated, “na-reclaim na ng LGBTQIA+ community ang mga salitang ito into something that is expressive of one's sexuality and gender in general.”

Furthermore, Kate added how she finds these terms empowering now. Although many Filipinos still use them to attack the community, she stated how our own labels can now “fill in” the empty spaces she and other queer people have been meaning to make sense of.

Living Outside the Box

While Filipino queers do not have the longest list of labels for the even more complex colors of the spectrum, it doesn’t entirely confine the entire community in the box. For Vani, a non-binary feminine leaning demiromantic asexual, she points out that a deeper understanding of these terms is much more needed before anything else. 

“I don’t think it’s limiting in a sense, but it opens conversations regarding those kinds of labels which is what we are vying for a more inclusive community,” Vani remarked.

These days, bading and baks are often being used endearingly among friends, and Vani expressed how this helps the members of the community have more courage as a whole.

To Zaire, it is high time for the community to distinguish themselves from the Western language and truly adopt labels in our own tongue. He recalls seeing online discourses surrounding the term “tomboy,” referring to it merely as gender expression when it is also deeply entwined to being a lesbian woman. 

“I feel na whenever we try to limit the way we call ourselves through Western terms ay parang binabalewala na lang natin ang mga terms na sadyang atin.” Zaire furthered, “Kasi hindi naman talaga rapat maging taboo ang use ng mga ganitong terms lalo na't hindi naman talaga ito masamang gamitin.”

To be queer means people will try to change you and strip you of your truth as they condemn that you are living outside what is expected. You are bound to be criticized and discriminated against by people, even those whom you love. But queerness is not all that. To be queer also means to define yourself for yourself and to let go from the fear of being different. That includes taking back the narrative from those who have spoken over you for too long. 

And the rest of the world? Their only options are to either catch up or get left behind—because everywhere they look, there will be colors. Queer people will keep on being born, and they will continue living their truth.

Article: Regina De Villa & Lian Joy Magano

Graphics: Juan Fernandez