Men vs. Women? No, Thanks!: Why Supporting Women’s Rights Doesn’t Undermine Men’s

Picking a struggle seems to be the default response when facing countless responsibilities. In most cases, crossing out the least important task and doing the most demanding one on the list is a practical option. But while that approach may work for to-do lists, real-life struggles—especially ones shaped by social conditioning—are beyond simple decision-making. 

For Anita, waking up every day at three o’clock in the morning was more than just a routine; rather, she had been conditioned to start her day before anyone else and handle responsibilities that were simply expected of her.

With each passing day, clanging kitchen tools can be heard as she tidies up and ensures rice is served on the table just before a rooster crows.

“Syempre, may estudyanteng pumapasok…Nag-aasikaso ako…” She said during an interview with The Communicator. 

Although it wasn’t a big problem for Anita, time is relentlessly wearing her down with age. 

For 75 years, she taught herself to be content with what life could offer. Yet, looking back on her early twenties, she wonders—if she had more freedom, would she have chosen differently? 

“Hindi ko masyadong gustong pumunta rito, gawa lang sa Nanay ko at pinilit niya akong magtrabaho,” Anita said, as she narrates her life story with hopeful voice. 

Born in 1949 in Gapan, Nueva Ecija, she grew up in a family of seven, consisting of five girls and two boys. Though her life was simple, waking up to fresh air and with farming as their means of livelihood, it was enough for her. 

But having been born in a conservative family, her mother tends to be quite involved with her choices. 

“Sinabi [kasi] ng Nanay ko sa boyfriend ko na may asawa na ako, wala naman,” she added, when asked the real reason behind leaving her hometown. 

Beginning with their eldest, they started working in a factory in Pasig City. 

Just as she thought life could have been better and opportunities were peeking through, she conceived a baby with a man she met at work. 

At first, things were going fine with her, but since motherhood rested heavily on her shoulders, her young heart hoped for freedom. 

“Gusto ko kasing humiwalay sa asawa ko, gusto kong lumayo. Nabigla kasi ako,” she said. 

“Nalaman ni Tatang, kaya sabi [niya], kapag namatay raw siya huwag ko siyang pupuntahan,” she added, leaving her with no choice.

Years later, they got married and it was a simple event with close friends and families. She kept a picture of her in a white dress, but no husband in sight. They say a wedding celebrates love between two people, but unconventionally, that wasn’t the case for her.

“Namanhikan sila noon, dumating ‘yong pamilya [niya]. Hindi ko alam na dadating sila. Kung alam ko, gusto kong magtago,” Anita recalled. 

Children followed the marriage, and soon enough, Anita was colored by the light of 8 pairs of watchful eyes.

“Maayos naman noong unang-una, [pero] dahil sa kakainom nag-iba ang utak,” she added. 

“E, buti na lang sa awa ng Poon kinuha na. Kaya no’ng kinuha siya ng Diyos, nabunutan ako ng tinik,” she said. In more desperate times, Anita was more relieved she outlived her husband, remembering how he once chased her with a machete while intoxicated. 

Throughout her life, Anita devoted her time and effort raising her children, one with special needs. Alone, she managed the pressures of societal expectations, completely forgetting her dreams and ambitions. 

“Kasi hindi naman ako katulad ng iba na palaisip ng kung ano-ano. Basta kumikilos din ako, gumagawa ako ng paraan,” she pointed out. 

As her children grew and built their own lives, her missions were not yet over. Anita continues to nurture her grandchildren to this day. 

“Sa totoo lang kung hindi dahil sa mga apo ko, ayaw ko na rito e. Gusto ko na umuwi ng probinsya.”

Indeed, women embody all colors in one. However, their lives also reflect shades of black and gray, with the world like a box, women are confined within colors that society has assigned to them. 

Gender roles dictated that women remain polite, submissive, and traditionally feminine. To say the least, women were much like neutral pink, muted much like their voices were in society.

The lived experiences of Anita is a clear proof of the traditional roles women have endured. Even today, despite the progressive rights and opportunities, stereotypes are still widespread, along with misconceptions about feminism and the claim of ‘reverse sexism.’ 

Giving Everyone Shoes vs. Making Sure They Fit

Women have long faced systematic barriers that prevented them from accessing the same opportunities as given to men. 

In the Philippines, Spanish colonizers restricted formal education to men, and even after American colonizers allowed education for all genders, women still struggled for equal access. 

Similarly, during World War II, Filipino women suffered injustices, such as forced sexual slavery under the Japanese forces, yet to this day

, the government overlooks their plea for justice. 

The historical movements for women were not documented until the early 1900s. Under the leadership of Concepcion Felix de Calderon, the working class established the first organization for women in 1905 known as Asociacion Feminista Filipina (AFF). 

Through revolutionary efforts to empower women's right to vote, the women’s right to suffrage, including the right to be elected, was granted in April 1937, but only after years of activism addressing the challenges women faced in political participation. Over time, AFF built multiple foundations supporting women's and children's health. 

By the 1980s, the country witnessed more outright developments in empowering women. Kilusang Kababaihang Pilipina and Katipunan ng Kalayaan para sa Kababaihan were the first groups to focus on women’s issues more profoundly. They started an effort to combat sexism in media, violation of women’s reproductive rights, gender violence, prostitution and gender equality, employment, and income issues. 

If everyone were given shoes of the same size, some people might walk comfortably while others would find it difficult. The same applies to gender equality: simply treating everyone equally does not address the systematic barriers that affect women and marginalized groups.

Why Women Start the Race Behind

Men and women do not always begin on equal footing due to historical, social, and economic barriers. 

In our country, developments have been made following the opportunities for women and more inclusive laws.

Reportedly, in 2023, Filipino women ranked higher in educational and economic participation among countries; the Philippines ranked 16th alongside 146 countries based on the Global Gender Gap Index Report (GGG) of the World Economic Forum. 

While these milestones should be rightfully celebrated, the Philippines has a long way to go in unlocking gender equality in the fields of societal issues. 

As proven in the 2022 Philippine National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS), 18% of Filipino women with a spouse or intimate partner reported experiencing physical, sexual, and emotional abuse at the hands of their most recent partner. 

2 out of 5 victims of gender-based violence choose not to seek assistance. 

Meanwhile, according to the same research, approximately 286,000, or 5.6% of Filipino girls between the ages of 15 and 19 are currently married or in a relationship. 

Citing the report, the 2019 Functional Literacy, Education and Mass Media Survey found that the 5th most common reason given by youths for not going to school is the practice of child marriage, or getting married before turning 18. 

From ranking 16th in the 2023 gender-equal country report, the 2024 World Economic Forum observed a drop in the ranking to 25th place, stressing the call for immediate attention to bridge the gender gap. 

In terms of employment, the data on labor force participation of the Philippine Statistics Authority showed a decline in participation of women, consistently lower than men since 2008. By 2020, the labor force participation of women was 34.5%, while men were at 54.8%. 

The report also suggests stereotyped gender roles owing to patriarchal mindsets, the marginalization of women in leadership roles remains a major issue, with men anticipated to assume economic and productive positions. 

It is also crucial to remember that women in New York fought and united against discrimination from 1909 to 1911; for this reason, March is celebrated worldwide as a day to honor the rights to fair labor and combat the exploitation of women. 

The worst aspect, nonetheless, was that 140 women had to perish in the fire that began in the New York factory and inspired the tribute. By the looks of things, it can seem ironic that women must have a place on the calendar merely for the world to acknowledge our rights. 

Partners, Not Competitors

It is not a competition between the sexes. 

While the theme involves women, the deeper dilemma is to understand the complicated system of gender issues and limitations against gender equality in time could lead to long-term impacts on generations to come. 

The struggles toward gender equality do not necessitate a body to act in response to one gender alone, nor does advocating for women intend to diminish the existing struggles of other genders; it is not meant to create a divide. 

Gender equality is more of a collaborative effort of everyone to ensure that each individual gets what they deserve, opportunities are accessible, and rights are respected. 

Celebrating Women’s Month calls for the participation of all sectors to address limitations to gender equality and honors the history of ongoing advocacy for a just and gender-inclusive society. 

As Senator Risa Hontiveros once said, “Men must actively participate in women’s call for justice and equality. Samasama tayo dito.” 

True progress happens when all genders work together to recognize systematic issues while challenging norms that perpetuate discrimination. 

Debunking the ‘Reverse Sexism’ 

The misconception that feminism is about gaining superiority over men rather than achieving gender equality has led to the flawed idea of reverse sexism. 

However, as Prerna Singh said, “Sexism is when a certain gender or sex is systematically oppressed and discriminated against to the point that the oppressors have a dominant position in society - hence, the notion of reverse sexism cannot exist in society,” Feminism was never about shifting power dynamics to disadvantage men but about dismantling systems that have historically oppressed women. 

That said, this does not mean that prejudice and discrimination against men are morally acceptable. Any form of bias, regardless of the target, is unjust. 

But framing feminism as an attack on men disregards the sole purpose of the movement: to achieve social, political, and economic equality.

Plus, women do not truly benefit from a system that reverses oppression. Instead, feminism strives for an environment where all individuals, regardless of gender, have the freedom to thrive without systematic barriers. 

The fight for gender equality is a long process and a developmental issue, it does not stop through single actions. The lived experiences of Anita and the never-ending call for equity are existing phenomena that prompt every individual to challenge existing norms and empower inclusivity.

Article: Andrea Cheryl Bautista

Graphics: Ericka Castillo